Healing Of The Heart
Four seemingly simple sentences and such profound wisdom.... Looking few years back, I wouldn’t have been able to understand its profound meaning, only intellectually perhaps.
Several years ago, I met an interesting individual whom I teasingly named- ‘The Ancient One’. During one of our conversations, he said: “Your heart is closed off”. Clearly remember reactionary response my mind generated: “Whaaaat....And what the hell is that supposed to mean” and of course a subconscious defiant pose: “What could you possibly know about my heart”. Couldn’t that have been more defensive? ;-) That was the very first time I was made aware that my heart was ‘supposedly closed off’. Didn’t give it much thought, however it stayed in the back of my mind. At the time I embarked on an exploration of healing arts, two year long Massage Therapy Program. I learnt many excellent eastern and western techniques on how to help others alleviate their pain, yet I wasn’t aware my very own pain needed addressing. How ironic! Seemed like a classical archetypal pattern of 'a wounded healer' unfolding...
So years later, my heart continued to be in the exact same condition, closed off and unhealed, as I kept on putting snooze button on the spiritual awakening that was peeking through the cracks. The heaviness in the chest area persisted. Breathing in was difficult and quite shallow at times. It was so palpable that it couldn’t have been missed or ignored. Knew something was going on but simply couldn’t put my finger on it. Got my heart checked out, did EKG, which came out to be within the norm.
So why the heaviness, why was it still there? Kept trying to comprehend the meaning of it all, as well as pondering how to fix it. All the questioning and seeking to find the resolve lead to a practitioner of shamanic arts. During the very first session, a profound healing took place. I sobbed and sobbed. I literally cried my eyes out, as a safe space was held for me. There was absolutely no judgment, just safety. The healing was profound! Bottom line, heart energy began to come back and the chest heaviness diminished significantly. The work of ‘opening the heart center’ began. Couldn’t have been more ecstatic. Having gone through that process was immensely empowering, freeing and so very healing. It felt like an invisible “energetic straight jacket” I was wrapped in, was taken off my body. Phew, what a relief! I knew there were more layers to it, more healing to be done but 'that healing' was a catalyst. Surges of energy filled my body, spontaneous desire to hug, and gentleness returned, as well as smiling for absolutely no reason. What a gift! Most importantly, I was ready to delve further into the healing process, to peel more layers. The initial block was removed and I was gonna face whatever scars, wounds, pain have been lurking in my subconscious mind. My healing got officially initiated! I'm coming for you Mr. Shadow.... ;-)