2020 a year that shook us from an ignorant slumber

The year 2020 was indeed a year for the history books; shocking, transformational, deeply life-changing on all levels, personal and collective. Shall remember it as “the year”.

Having spent half of the year away from people and the hustle and bustle of New York city life felt weird. Being on lockdown for nearly six months was surreal. The initial interruption of all habits, routines, work was destabilizing to the human self. But about a month into the pandemic, a new flow presented; more purposeful, slower, and quieter. I loved the silence outside, no honking cars, no noise, just birds chirping away - delightful.

Underneath it all, a deep reset was taking place. A lot of nurturing and healing on all levels; sleep, meditations, reading, relaxation, walks to the park, home exercise, cooking, and baking. It felt so therapeutic, though, at times, a sense of guilt would creep up- like I am supposed to be doing something. Yet, I stayed a course replenishing the reserves; the body, mind, Soul.       

This 'forced reset' reminds me of the wisdom Clarissa Pinkola Estes shared in "Women Who Run With The Wolves": 

"The cries of the suffering world cannot all be answered by a single person all the time. We can truly only choose to respond to those that allow us to go home on a regular basis, otherwise our heart-lights dim to almost nothing." 

It is true when we overstay in the external world (responsibilities, chores, obligations), burnout follows; we get lost, crippled, sick. Creativity diminishes. We dry out like a sponge. Going within is a must -- so I did by answering the call to go within.

Anyways, as the reset was taking place, I found myself more and more in the observer's mode; chaos was everywhere, split amongst groups, polarization, divisiveness, fear, scattered energy floating around. Ongoing media circus. Unraveling of all things rotten and hidden. As purging was happening, individually and collectively, I felt many collective emotions, especially around George Floyd's death. So much shadow, heartlessness, darkness was on display.

Yet, as insane 2020 was, it also brought growth, realizations, clarity, and teachings lessons; the most significant task was setting energetic boundaries, practicing staying in the eye of the storm, clearing the energies in real-time. It was challening. That was my practice run, service to the collective - to hold it nice and steady. As a mentor told me once: "Anna, nice and steady wins the race." 

Few months into this journey (around June), it felt like my human identity was dissolving. I wasn't sure who I was anymore. My identity was tied to being a trainer, stretch/massage therapist, a healer. I was none of that; experience of frustration, sense of loss presented. Interestingly enough, as inner demons were surfacing, so was clarity. There was a profound reshuffling happening, quieting within, increase of sensory awareness in all of the bodies: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Truly humbling. I welcomed all of it. 

October and November were quite interesting, energetically speaking. Of course, the entire year was wild. I didn’t feel like interacting much on social media. Yet, I felt pulling on my energies from the content posted online (if I exposed my eyeballs to it) — the energy was persistent, especially around election time. At times it felt like a blackhole attempting to suck me in. And there were times I was approaching an event horizon.

Throughout those two months, I felt compelled to do two practices; invoking the violet flame of transmutation daily and saying invocation: I AM my I AM Presence, and I AM One with Mother/Father God. Those practices were happening almost on their own. I’d go to sleep saying the invocation and greet the day with those words. Also, I’d say it 13 times. Not sure as to why that number, but there was a strong urge to do that.

Mid-November, the morning of the 15th, I woke up feeling very different with an incredible sense of lightness within the body, optimism, and joy. Something shifted that day. Remember having a smile on my face. It was such a palpable feeling.

And of course, the last month brought a lot of energetic downloads, especially around Christmas time, including well known ascension symptoms. I rode the wave.

Let’s see what 2021 shall bring and what will be created.

I want to end this post with a dream presented (many times) over the last several years; people getting on the train, some already on it, some running behind it, some waking up on the train and being confused. My inner guidance tells me this train is bound in the direction of unity, heart-based living, cooperation, community. Conscious, self-responsible, integrated physically and spiritually, humans create this new reality, a new world. Many have already gotten on this train, and more will come in the upcoming years— all in due time. 

See you on the train. <3

With a loving heart, Anna